Perceived Expectations: How They Shape Leaders and Influence Teams
Leadership comes with its fair share of pressure—meeting goals, making decisions, and steering a team toward success. But beneath all those external responsibilities lies an invisible force that often goes unacknowledged yet plays a significant role in leadership: perceived expectations.
Perceived expectations are the assumptions leaders carry about what others—whether stakeholders, team members, or even society—want or need from them. These assumptions can influence how leaders make decisions, communicate, and prioritize. But when left unexamined, perceived expectations can lead to unnecessary stress, misaligned goals, and unintended consequences for both the leader and their team.
The Weight of Assumptions
Imagine you’re leading a team, and you’ve told yourself that success depends on constant innovation and being first to market. But what if your stakeholders actually prioritize quality over speed? What if your team values psychological safety over agility? Without clarifying these expectations, you may push forward with initiatives that misalign with what truly matters, creating stress for yourself and disconnect for those you lead.
For many leaders, perceived expectations are shaped by:
- Past experiences: Previous roles, mentors, or even failures may set an internal benchmark for how a leader feels they “should” act.
- Cultural and industry norms: Societal expectations about what leadership looks like can drive leaders to embody stereotypes that may not suit their authentic selves or their teams.
- Personal ambition or fear: The desire to excel—or the fear of falling short—often leads leaders to create narratives about what others expect of them.
The problem? Assumptions are often inaccurate or incomplete. When leaders operate based on perceived expectations instead of seeking clarity, they run the risk of prioritizing the wrong goals, applying pressure where it isn’t needed, and making decisions that don’t serve the bigger picture.
The Ripple Effect on Teams
When leaders carry the weight of unexamined perceived expectations, it doesn’t just affect them—it impacts their entire team. Here’s how:
- Increased Stress and Burnout: A leader projecting urgency or unattainable goals can unintentionally create an environment of high stress, even if those expectations weren’t explicitly set.
- Mismatched Priorities: A misalignment between the leader’s direction and the team’s actual needs or goals can lead to confusion, frustration, and inefficiency.
- Fear-Based Cultures: Teams may pick up on a leader’s fear of not meeting expectations, which can discourage innovation, openness, or calculated risk-taking.
- Loss of Trust: When leaders act on assumptions rather than clarity, team members may feel unheard or misunderstood, eroding trust and engagement.
How Leaders Can Break Free of Perceived Expectations
The good news? You don’t have to let perceived expectations define your leadership or limit your team’s potential. Here’s how to start:
- Ask, Don’t Assume: Seek direct feedback from your stakeholders and team members about their goals, priorities, and what they truly expect from you. Create open channels for honest conversations.
- Reflect on Your Inner Narrative: Take time to examine the stories you tell yourself about what’s expected of you. Are they based on facts or fears?
- Align with Your Values: Ground your leadership in your personal and organizational values. When your actions are aligned with your principles, you’ll lead with authenticity instead of reactive assumptions.
- Set the Example: Encourage your team to clarify expectations in their own roles as well. Modelling this behaviour helps create a culture of clear communication and mutual understanding.
- Pause to Reassess: Leadership isn’t static, and neither are expectations. Regularly revisit and refine your understanding of what’s needed to ensure alignment over time.
Leading With Clarity and Intention
Perceived expectations can often feel like a heavy burden—but they don’t have to be. By challenging assumptions, seeking clarity, and leaning into authenticity, leaders can lighten the load for themselves and their teams.
When leaders lead with clarity and intention, they foster environments where teams feel empowered to thrive—not because they’re chasing uncertain expectations, but because they’re aligned with shared goals and values.
So, here’s the challenge: Step back, reflect on the expectations you carry, and ask yourself—are they rooted in truth, or are they simply perceived? The answer could transform not only your leadership but also the culture and success of your team.
If you would like to develop authentic leadership skills and meet this challenge, please reach out to me at elizabethdenniss@bigpond.com or on 0456728961. I provide in person and online leadership coaching and development sessions. I also offer leadership development through Equine Informed Awareness at Rainbow Ridge Farm.